people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
