i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
