you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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