There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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