tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I have already put on my inside pants.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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