im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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