We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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