i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I need a beard to bite.
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