check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
