just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
