ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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