That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
my sisters under your porch take her home
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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