3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Me too!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
