i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
