are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
