Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
