He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
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I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
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Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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