He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
