We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
