Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
