so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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