you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
