When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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