she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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