Acid is not a monday night drug
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He shit in the fireplace
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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