it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
