help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
