The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Four minutes until I can fart!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize