giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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