We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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