i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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