I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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