Christians are straight up FREAKS
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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