god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
