Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
