I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
