I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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