I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
