my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
