I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
