i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
