i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
