just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
