dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We have started to decorate penises.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
