I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
