also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
