Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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