so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize