I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just forgot I was standing up.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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