Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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