I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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