probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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