my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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