good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize