i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
