he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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