Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
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I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
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The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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