dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
