fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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