Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
