sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
