I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
