You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
