Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
