i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Randomize
